I Don't Wanna Love You
by xXxAmazingly.BeautifulXxX
Summary: I Don't Wanna Love Her, I Don't Wanna Her Here In My Life.


_**So, here is my newest creation. Its a tad bit depressing.  
>Beast Boy is contemplating the one that got away )':<br>i wuv Beast Boy(:  
>Song fic to I Don't Wanna Love Her-Brinck<br>Enjoy.  
><strong>_

_So close_

_ A perfect start,_

_ So undeniable,_

_ Fallen apart._

_**"You were the greatest friend I ever had." **_

_ "_If I was so great then why did you have to go and treat me like that, huh?"

He held the antimonial heart in his hands, tears filling his eyes before leaving their temporary sanctuary, leaving tiny puddles on what used to be the symbol of his affection. He had given this to her when he went to ask her out, to ask her to basically be with him for the rest of their lives. She at first had rejected him, telling him there was no way it would work, which then led to him beating himself up over it. He blamed himself, thinking about all the other ways he could've asked her out, wondering if they would have had more of an affect on her. Maybe what had happened next was Terra just doing her confusing girl tricks, but she had spied on him as he was talking to himself about how he messed things up. She had laughed when he jumped in terror when he saw her, and then she had held her hand out, asking him if he wanted to go out with her. She had taken him out on a date that night, their very first and very last date. But she was only leading him on, deceiving him in an attempt to get him away from his friends. Slade had ruined their night of fun, showing up and revealing everything about the Terra he thought he knew. Terra was only a spy, feeding information back to Slade when she learned about it. Beast Boy refused to believe any of it, and angrily leapt at Slade in an attempt to finish him off. Beast Boy lay on the floor, breathing hard and hurting from the blows Slade inflicted. "The Terra you knew was only an illusion." He flinched as Slade's voice echoed in his thoughts once again. As much as he hated to admit it, Slade was right, painfully right.

_So right from wrong,_

_ So beautiful,_

_ Truly defining,_

_ So hard to let go._

Beast Boy stood up angrily, his shoes squeaking on the rock surface beneath him. He began to walk away, leaving Terra's gift far behind him. He swallowed hard, unable to control his emotions any longer as he remembered her long blonde hair and her deep, sparkling blue eyes. She truly had been beautiful, so beautiful that it killed him, killed him to know that she had been evil all along. Beast Boy hated that she acted like she was everyone's best friend and pretending to care about their weaknesses, strengths, and any problems they had, when in reality she was storing it all in her head to spill out to her 'master'. Beast Boy scoffed as he recollected Terra's excuse to why she chose to work for Slade. _"He saved me from myself." _ "No, that's what _I _was trying to do," he muttered.

She had tried to kill him, tried to kill his beloved friends. Terra had tried to murder Cyborg, the greatest friend he's ever had and the only person he could never beat at video games. Terra had tried to murder Starfire, who was basically his sister and now his source of comfort; she was always the easiest to talk to, and besides, Beast Boy thought it was adorable how she would phrase her words together. Terra had tried to murder Robin, the whole skeletal support of the team, the backbone that kept the Titans together. If Robin had died at Terra's will, the whole team would've fallen apart and drifted away. She had tried to murder Raven, _his Raven_. Beast Boy felt a new surge of anger arise in his small body. Raven meant more to him then anyone else, and that was because his other friends didn't understand Raven most of the time, but Beast Boy did. He understood exactly how she felt and why she acted the way she did. He loved her the most, and that was why he was always trying to make her laugh and get her involved in activities. Beast Boy felt the corner of his mouth tug slightly into a small grin. He absolutely loved it when Raven smiled.

_ She's always knocking doors into my thoughts_

He couldn't live his life happily without her pushing her way back into his now unstable mind. He was distracted when he played video games with Cyborg, which resulted in a small fit of Cyborg pointing at Beast Boy and playfully taunting him. Somehow that managed to cheer Beast Boy up a little. He was distracted when he talked to Starfire about Terra, which she didn't mind so much, and Beast Boy appreciated her even more for that. Starfire wouldn't talk unless asked her opinion, and she only stroked his hand when he spoke of a Terra moment and trailed off. He was distracted when he meditated with Raven; she now felt sorry for the Titan and felt that she could make him feel better by giving him the attention he so desperately tried numerous times to get. Usually being beside Raven, let alone her even acknowledging his exsistance would fill his stomach with butterflies, but now it was as if all the butterflies had died in a horrible accident. He was distracted while training with Robin, which always ended up with him massaging a sore muscle at the end of the day. Even Robin, who used to lecture Beast Boy for at least an hour about being inattentive, but he left him alone. He was distracted in battle, and Robin had already confronted him several times, explaining to him that he understood why he was hurting but that his absent-mindedness was sometimes allowing the enemy to escape. But most importantly, he was distracted from the rest of his life.

_ I don't wanna love her_

_ I don't want her here in my life_

_ I don't want her near me_

_ But she's so deep inside_

_ I don't wanna love her , no_

_ I just wanna fly away_

_ But broken wings don't fly_

He was so pissed, so hurt, so betrayed. He couldn't stand Terra anymore. Just the thought that he ever wanted to be a part of her life disgusted him. He wanted to cry out in anguish, to be set free from her prison. She was embedded so deep in his soul. He sat back down, taking the heart in his hands again. He flipped it over, his eyes gazing softly at his loopy cursive calligraphy that spelled at Terra, the letters joining together sloppily with the tail of the _a _sprouting out to engulf the rest of the name in a small heart. He sniffled, remembering how happy he had been when he didn't mess the name up. Holding his thumb up to the name, he began to try to smear the name off even though he knew it was no use. It would be there forever. Just like Terra would be in his memory forever.

He threw the heart down in distress, and as it clattered to the ground, the lip popped off and began to roll away until Beast Boy blocked its path with his foot. He wiped away the tears that were gathering in his eyes and rubbed the back of his hand on his pants leg. He was getting so sick and tired of crying over that girl when she probably doesn't even recall his name. Sighing, Beast Boy flipped the bottom of the box over back to where it was right side up and went to put the lid back on, until a small sliver of white caught his eye. It was no bigger than his palm and it was tucked safely in the corner. He reached in and pulled it out, unfolding it. _ Dear Beast Boy, I'm so sorry for what's about to happen. I never wanted it to end like this, but I never had a choice. I love yo-_

The rest of the words scribbled off the paper as though she had been in a hurry. Beast Boy shook his head, crumpling the paper up in his hands and flinging it back where he found it. "No, Terra. You don't love me. You never did. I was just your play toy. You were just using me, and using my friends. You hated me. And now I hate you, too."

_She took a blue sky_

_ Turned it to rain_

_ She took pure freedom_

_ Transformed it to pain_

Beast Boy stared off into the darkness, narrowing his eyes as he thought of the day that would live in infamy. The day when Terra had supposedly destroyed the Titans. She and Slade had celebrated too early, awaiting their victory in taking over the rest of the world, too busy to notice that the heroes were right under their noses. The air was gray and gloomy, rain tumbling down and hitting Beast Boy's skin and a cold wind tugged at his hair as he watched Terra menacingly from inside the fog. He was slightly regretting what he felt the urge to do and he almost backed down. And he would've, where it not for looking at Raven, who gave him a sympathetic smile, letting him know that this was the right thing to do.

He had pondered what the others were thinking about fighting the girl they had once called their teammate and friend, but he couldn't see any of them except for Starfire. Chills had ran up and down his spine as he saw the fierce emotion in her body language. If anyone were to be mad, it was her. Of course, Terra had messed around with his heart, but Starfire had trusted her the most. She had befriended her, spent almost every waking moment with her, and aided her in battle when she was in dire trouble. But now Starfire, eyes glowing green and her leg hitched up higher than the other, looked betrayed and poised to attack. He knew at that moment every one was in split in two; they didn't want to fight their former friend, but at the same time, every one wanted to take her down and end this nightmare.

_I don't want her prison_

_ I don't want her poison_

_ I don't want her games, her cage, her ball and chain_

He couldn't get away from her. The moment where he lay helpless, his foot wedged between several boulders, staring up at Terra with heartache, resentment, and hopefulness reflecting in his eyes kept repeating in his mind. The moment where his best friends enclosed around her in a tight circle, threatening her, pleading with her not to kill Beast Boy, weapons pointing at her. Terra knew as well as they did that they could've taken her out right then and there. But they never did, and she knew why. They didn't want to harm her because deep down inside, she was still dear to them. Terra had made it all seem like she cared for each and every one of them. However, it was only a front, a brick wall to mask the true Terra, the Terra that would try to take each of their precious lives away.

_Bonds unbroken_

_ Are leading me astray_

_ Words unspoken_

_ Are driving me insane _

Beast Boy cried out, rearing his foot back and kicking the present that had once presented itself as a proclamation of his love for her. It skidded across the stoned ground, jumping up as it hit a rock and flying almost gracefully through the air until slamming into the wall opposite of where Beast Boy stood. He watched in an undaunted satisfaction as the lid slid off of its body and fell off the roof to its impending doom below. The paper that held Terra's heartless note fluttered out, twirling around in the night breeze before dropping also, drifting down so that one unsuspecting citizen would possibly find it and ponder over the significance of it. Beast Boy didn't care who found it or what happened to it. He hoped it would fall into a storm drain, and sink to the bottom of the murky disgusting water. It was where it deserved to be, along with any other remnants of Terra.

_My mind is prisoner_

_ To a heart out of control_

_ I don't ..._

Beast Boy stared at the remaining piece of the box, clenching his fists tightly together. He started towards it, his heart pounding and his breath coming in irritated bouts. As he loomed over the heart he noticed that on the inside crease of the heart, a crack had developed, trailing down and stopping right in the middle of the tattered form. "My feelings exactly," Beast Boy whispered, leaning over to gather it in his hands. As he stood back up, a horrible pain emerged in his chest, and he clutched at where the pain was coming from. It was as though someone had grabbed his heart and was twisting it around, trying desperately to destroy it. He let out a small whimper, the pain growing into a constant throbbing. He almost dropped the box in agony, but he held on tightly to it; nothing was going to stop him from getting rid of this portal that kept his life and Terra's life together.

"Good-bye Terra," was all he said, as he reared his arm back and tossed the box as far as he could throw. The box landed with a splash, and floated at the top so long that Beast Boy thought he was going to have to go put some rocks in it to get it to sink. But as he was about to morph into a bird, it began to descend into the hungry waves, and as the tip of the heart began to disappear, so did the throbbing in his chest.

_I don't want her here in my life..._

" I don't wanna love you anymore, Terra."


End file.
